P O S T

P O S T
Stuck on the wrong side of a train. Almost was hit by the train because I'm used to those little arms that come down and light up and warn you a train is coming, which apparently do not exist at all 🚸. I've been in traffic for over an hour, and am trying to get back to my destination so I can finish something for work. I had picked this image to post earlier in the day, not realizing how much it would challenge me. ALL circumstances is a lot. It's easy to have joy when things are great; harder but still manageable to find joy when things are just normal. But then there are those pulse racing, heart breaking, since inducing situations where i don't really even want to be joyful. I'm really, really bad at faking it. I've been told i wear my feelings in my sleeve, that I have a large emotional wake, that what you see is what you get. Even when it was hurtful to hear those things at times, i can't deny that there's truth to it, and therefore, everyone knows when I have joy and when I don't. But I WANT to want to be joyful, to seek it out when It isn't what I want. And since I started writing this, I had about 35 opportunities to have joy when I didn't want to. And I took about 5 of them up. But I'm striving for #graceoverperfect and taking that as a small step towards becoming who I want to be. /I also made myself this as a reminder in gold foil. If you're in Houston, I'll have them at the @ecclesiahouston Art Market on Saturday from 10-3, along with a lot of other things. Come visit!